I have not posted much this week, because first, my time has seemed to run short each day. Also, there has not been much update from last week! However, I am waiting to have my oil changed and just saw my OBGYN, so this seemed like the perfect opportunity.
Let me dive in, first, to some of the thoughts I have been having on the work I have implemented from my last dietitian visit. Overall, it has gone really well. She did a great job helping me implement a plan that fits my lifestyle and preferences in food. I have, though, had several “a-ha” moments, since my visit with her last week. I had dinner with a sweet friend earlier this week, who is also a dietitian, and we talked extensively about what the dietitian had recommended for me. We also talked about some of the mental labeling and rigidity I can tend to carry with my lifestyle, particularly in food. In saying this, I completely agree with my dietitian, that at this point in my journey, I need to have a “plan” which I am following. Otherwise, I will fall right back into my old habits and fail to make any progress. On the other hand, I want to practice giving myself the freedom, mentally, to eat as much food as my body needs to gain weight while also giving myself freedom to eat whatever my body desires, even if it deviates from our “plan” which can cause me some anxiety.
Another aspect of our work, I want to discuss with my dietitian is the use of an online food journal. Once again, due to my tendency to become OCD about tasks and following instructions, I get very uncomfortable when I don’t hit the required calorie mark or if I go above my calorie goal for the day. At this point in my work, I almost feel like e-mailing her, each day, with the foods I have eaten, might be best. This way, I am accountable, but I am not becoming obsessive about logging food. As I mentioned, I need a plan right now, because my major need is to gain weight. In the past, when I did not have a plan and accountability, I fell extremely off track. However, I also think it is important to train myself to eat more intuitively, rather than restrictively. I really want to be intentional about choosing foods which are healthy, fuel my body, but challenge my current food rotations.
If you have made it this far in reading this post, you are a champ! For my final update, I did go to my OBGYN today. He is very caring, listens intently to me, and is intentional about our time. I will not go into too many details, because this is a public post.:) I will say, though, I left feeling great comfort. I was not able to do any blood work today, but my husband and I are making plans to do this near the end of my summer break. Although, it will not be an easy road without complications and challenges, my doctor assured me, that he will be able to work with me to get my body where it needs to be, to one day, bear a child. I am going to continue to seek out further information, on my own, regarding this aspect of my health, but I am also going to trust him. In the future, if I am not confident in the medical advice I am given, I will need to, wisely, seek out further medical advice. At this point, I am doing what I need to do to gain my health and will work from that place.
Thanks so much for reading! I hope this offers, at least one reader, less of a feeling of being alone in a life event similar to my own. Remember, gain what you might have lost, by giving yourself the gift of the freedom to do this! I will be back soon with updates from my dietitian appointment tomorrow.